Raising the Perfect Child
Does that even sound like a possibility? To this day I cannot remember what she had gotten into but I do remember those huge sparkly eyes so full of life and mischief. How can you not just love her?
Disciplining children can be a two way street:
1. One street you want to block is to make sure that children do not feel entitled. Have you been around people who feel they can do what ever they want to people or things with no regard for other’s feelings- an actual belief that the universe turns around them? Not pleasant nor reality.
2. Another street to be aware of in disciplining is to not crush the beautiful sprit inside.
So how do you teach a child to be respectful and still maintain that spark? Disciplining with love! That isn’t even an oxymoron.
Shopping day with a child can be a nightmare. I had taken three of my children shopping. It was one of those days when you are out of everything and either go to the store or starve. The kids for sure didn’t like that later suggestion. When we got there my kids must have thought I said ok every one this is a free for all. Just run in every direction. So that is what they did. They were hiding in the book isle and reading all the books or at least pretended to. They kept putting chips, candy and pop in the cart. I am sure it took three times longer to go shopping because I had to continually put things back and tell the kids, “No not now please.”
All of the sudden I had notice that one of my kids was missing; the quiet one of course. I hurried up and down the isles. I checked the candy lane and the toy lane. I’d even check the bathrooms even though I knew she wouldn’t go on her own. I started noticing the people around me wondering if they would have possibly taken my little child. Have you ever been to that point where sheer exhaustion and pure panic set in? I wanted to start screaming. Where are you? I asked the clerks and the store managers and everyone was watching for my little girl. About a half hour had passed and the manager decided to call the police because in the news there had been the devastating story’s of young children being taken.
What is the first thought that comes to your mind? Do you forget that just a moment ago you were so frustrated because of the commotion the kids were causing? Do you feel remorse for not watching them so close. More than likely you are just too concerned for the safety of your child that all thought of yourself is gone.
After the frantic search and the tears we finally found the sleeping child. In the end she had just crawled under the rack of children’s cloths and gone to sleep. Yet at that moment before you were completely out of yourself and just loving that child.
Then there were the hugs and tears and paying for the food, which I am sure I had no idea, even what was in the basket. On the ride home I told the kids that we needed to come up with a better way to go shopping. So together we made up our list of rules for shopping day. I wanted them to be invested in this with me so that we would not repeat what we had just done. So together we made our new rules.
1- No running from mom.
2- Pay attention to the people around you.
3- Write a grocery list together before we go.
4- Tell mommy when I’m tired. (From my 2 year old)
5- Watch out for each other.
6- Only pick one thing to put in the cart.
Now those may sound like little trivial things yet when you look at the bigger picture these teach empathy, awareness, money management, consideration, and safety. What a simple idea and yet still so profound. Because the kids helped come up with the ideas, they were more willing to follow through.
I love my child
I also love my grandchildren. The following is a painting I did of Reese my granddaughter. I caught her getting into something, which I can’t even remember what that was, but her expression was so captivating. In the painting she was just 2 years old. Now she has grown into such a beautiful 6 year old with that same spark in her eye. I really can’t take the credit for her becoming such an amazing person, because she is so like her mother- empathetic, considerate, loving and so talented.
Coming out soon, I have a read aloud children’s book that helps parents and children through daily living to believe in them selves. “Do you believe in me?” Watch for it.